Scream & Shout

When I sat down recently to ponder what other stories I could tell for my future blogs I realized in my brainstorming that I have yet to share any from my worldwide travels. Granted, I have only shared fourteen blog posts – it lowkey feels like a whole lot more – but to be greater than three months into this endeavor and to not have pulled anything from my bag of international trips just seems misguided on my behalf.

I am eager to turn the beat around on this one and have actually spent the past couple weeks preparing a completely different blog post than the one you are about to read. My intention was to share with you all a post highlighting all the greatest hits from my African safari in Kenya, but to be honest; it wasn’t gelling right and I’m certainly not about to post a half-baked blog. So, while I smooth over the road to my Kenyan experience, I thought instead I would whip together a retelling of one of my absolute favorite travel memories, one that was consumed by chaos, fear, and deception.

Back in the summer of 2005 I traveled to the Southeast Asian country of Thailand for a fifteen day excursion across the country. Although I had just completed my freshman year of college I was traveling along with the Collinsville High School social studies department. Having traveled with them my senior year to Scotland and London I found myself with an invitation I could not refuse when asked to join them on this exotic voyage.

The previous summer in Scotland and London I became extremely good friends with Nicole and she too was headed to Thailand with me. Nicole and I went to Collinsville High School three years together (she was class of 2003 and I 2004) and never knew one another then, but our meeting on that first trip to Great Britain sparked a traveling bug in us that has propelled us on four other trips since that initial one.

Nicole and I were joining our two favorite teachers, Mr. Schusky and Ms. Lindauer along with Ms. Lindauer’s sister, Alice and four other students: Adam, Eric, and Kasey – all freshly graduated seniors – and Kelly, Kasey’s older sister, who was class of 2003 like Nicole. As there were three boys and three girls, amongst the students, we shared rooms accordingly. Adam, Eric, and I were always bunking together while Nicole, Kasey, and Kelly did the same.

Thailand showed us all things that none of us had seen before – you would not imagine what we saw in the Bangkok red light district – but the one thing it showed me most was that even thousands of miles away from home and all that I knew, my heart still beat for my one true love: come on now, you already know – it’s Britney, bitch.

Adam and Eric loved the fact that they could drink alcoholic beverages while in Thailand, so most evenings finished with the two of them having a wee-bit too much to drink and coming back to the hotel room much, much later than I. Well, the nights that Adam was grossly intoxicated he would come lay next to me or even on top of me and sing the only two Britney Spears songs he claimed were good: Toxic and From the Bottom of My Broken Heart.

Obviously he was a crazy person. How in the world does one claim to like only two Britney Spears jams!?! One of which is a sadly forgotten ballad off her first album and the other being one of the most significant contributions in the history of pop music. It just didn’t add up and I remember thinking each night he serenaded me with one of these that there was just no way this joker was for real. Who cares that he was lying in my bed – I could always push him off – but what I could not do was comprehend his musical tastes or lack thereof. Quite simply I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that of all her incredible hits he only liked these two polar opposites – something was clearly not right with him.

Well, one particular evening I decided it was time for a little late night torture of my own, but I never do my best work alone, so I recruited the girls to assist me in my torment.

As we did every single night on the trip the nine of us would eat dinner and then our little groups would go our own ways and this particular evening was no exception. Adam and Eric went to the hotel bar, the adults went wherever it was they went, and this time Kasey, Kelly, Nicole, and I went back to our duplex to plot.

This resort was unique in that rather than being one centralized building it was a sprawling campus of duplexed cabins all built around a large commons area accompanied by beautiful pools and tropical walking trails. It was an absolute paradise, but if the girls and I played our parts right it wouldn’t be that way for everyone.

The entire back wall of the cabin was basically a giant window with a sliding glass door on each side. The girls room and mine was separated by a wall just like any hotel room or duplex residency would be, but there was a large door in the middle that we could open if we wished to make our two rooms appear to be one larger one.

As the girls and I hammered out the details of our plan Adam and Eric returned to the cabin far earlier than anticipated. I had naturally already taken my own shower and was ready for bed – had to play the part – and the girls all did as well, so once the boys returned I bid my farewells to the girls and went back to my side to patiently wait for the night’s festivities to begin.

Adam took his shower first and I remember feeling a tinge of guilt just sitting there talking so nonchalantly with Eric knowing what was on the horizon. Poor Eric, he was so kindhearted and innocent in all this, but because he was Adam’s best friend he was forced to face the same fate.

I expected everything to kick into high gear when Adam was in the shower, but he came and went in there without a hitch, so next up was Eric’s turn. While Eric was in the shower Adam and I sat there talking just like Eric and I had, but our conversation was interrupted by a noise that sounded like the tin roof was going to collapse onto us. It was so sudden that it even spooked me. Adam looked terrified. Eric had not been in the shower but a minute and came out wrapped in his towel asking Adam and I if we had heard the noise (of course we had) and if we knew what it was (of course Adam didn’t.)

We all stood there waiting for it to sound again yet nothing, so Eric decided to return to the bathroom to try and shower once more. No sooner had he shut the door had the piercing noise returned prompting Eric to rush back out and tell us that he thought that it sounded like someone was on the front porch trying to climb in through the bathroom vent. I told Adam to go check the front porch to which he adamantly refused to do. Eric said he couldn’t because he was wearing nothing but his towel and I pretended to be far too scared to do anything of the such so the three of us just stood there again waiting for the noise to return. Instead of the booming piercing of the tin roof we were greeted with the sound of nails on a chalkboard and it was coming from the back windowed wall. Someone – or something – was scraping up against it. Again I urged Adam to go back and check and again he strongly refused to do so. It was quite scary hearing the scratching all along the back windows. I told Adam just to go over to the window and pull back the curtains and yet he still refused. Once more the three of us huddled together in close proximity in the center of our room waiting in breathless anticipation for one of the noises to return – or worse yet – a new one to emerge.

Enough time passed that Eric felt he could return to the shower and he did just that leaving Adam and I sitting in the two chairs we pulled out from against the bathroom wall to the center of the room leaving us with clear viewing angles of the front and back doors. Adam was scared out of his mind. He kept rambling on about how the girls had to be awake from the first sound when it resembled that of the roof caving in and he urged me to go wake them, but I just kept saying that if they had heard it they would have surely of tried to come over to our room because they were girls, they would definitely be scared of something like that. I needed him to resist the urge to go next door because that could very well be the undoing of our plan.

As Adam and I sat there talking the same booming noise returned and within moments Eric was storming out of the bathroom absolutely soaking wet and wrapped in his towel. He threw open the front door and charged outside. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. There was no way in Hell that if this shit was real I would have ever of done what he was doing. At first I was unbelievably impressed, but then I realized that he might catch the girls off guard and I would have to follow him out there to throw him off their trail. While Eric and I stood outside on the front patio, Adam darkened the doorway, reluctant to join us fully beyond the safety net of the duplex. Eric walked to each side of the cabin and saw nothing and even walked down the path to the main road – all completely naked just wrapped in a towel mind you – and thankfully saw no sight of anyone. As he returned to the patio he passed me up and went and knocked several times on the girl’s door prompting Nicole to quickly answer.

“You hearing all this?” Eric asked sternly. It was quite apparent that he was done playing around.

“Yes, but what is it?” The girls choired as all three were now standing in the doorway.

“I’m not sure, but I think someone is fuckin’ with us,” Eric said as his narrowed eyes scanned grounds.

“We’re so scared,” Nicole added in her most terrified tone.

“We should go wake up Lindauer and Schusky,” Adam chimed in, his voice shaking as he spoke.

“You think?” I asked.

“I definitely think, yes. This isn’t okay. They’re in cabin four, let’s all walk down and get them,” Adam encouraged us, but made no motion to move beyond his doorframe. He was clearly hoping someone else would take the lead.

“They’re not in cabin four, they’re in cabin seven,” Kelly said matter-of-factly trying to discourage Adam from bringing the adults into the mix.

“No, I’m pretty sure they’re in four,” Adam argued back.

“Well, I’m pretty sure you’re wrong,” Kelly said forcefully.

“Wait, seven?” Nicole interjected. “I thought they were in two.”

“No, no, no, it’s four. They’re in cabin four!” Adam was getting panicked at this point.

“Listen, I’m not going to go knock on any cabin doors unless I am absolutely certain that it is their cabin. I’m just not going to do it.” Kelly said firmly.

“Yeah, me neither,” Kasey added and Nicole quickly echoed the same.

Adam then looked to Eric and I for backup. I just shrugged my shoulders and rattled off something about how the sounds have all stopped and Eric said if the girls were all fine with it then he was cool with it too. Adam was in disbelief at all our responses.

“We are a million miles from home and someone is trying to break into our cabin and none of you guys even want to go do something about it!” He was visibly upset.

The girls and I all did our best to assure him that no one was trying to break in, but it wasn’t enough to quell his fears and he stormed out of the doorway and halfway down the path exclaiming how he was going to go get them himself.

“Go right ahead, but if you’re gonna go to cabin four you’ll be going to the wrong one,” Kelly added.

The girls, Eric, and I all just stood there at the porch of the duplex and Adam stared back at us dumbfounded.

“Well, go ahead and go get them,” Kelly said knowing very well Adam was no sooner going to walk down that dimly lit pathway than she was.

“I’m not going to go by myself – Eric come on,” he said shakily.

“I’m standing out here in a towel and my body is still wet from the shower I haven’t got to finish. I’m not going anywhere, but to finish my shower,” Eric said as he turned and went back inside to do just that leaving the rest of us where we stood.

“Adam just get back in here. If someone really is out there then you’ll be super vulnerable to them when you’re walking all by yourself,” Kelly warned.

Adam hesitated for a few moments, but eventually walked back towards us. “Let’s at least sleep with the door between our rooms open,” he added. “I think you girls will be safer that way.”

“No,” Kelly answered almost immediately. “There will be no need for that. If the noises happen again we’ll all hear them and we can open it up then.”

Adam was not loving the outcome of this conversation and sulked back inside. The girls and I hung back for a few moments and although we didn’t utter a single word to one another we shared a collective look of victory.

My plan had been executed perfectly. The girls each played their part ideally resulting in Adam being scared for his life. I felt that justice had been served for his drunken rants about Britney only having two good songs.

Naturally, Adam shared the nights events with the teachers first thing at breakfast and we all had to sit there and act like we knew nothing more than he did, but once Adam and Eric left the table we were able to disclose the truth behind the night. The teachers all promised to keep it a secret until we decided to let Adam and Eric in on the truth – which we did – about a month and a half after we returned home at a photo swap party I had for us all at our house. Suffice it to say, Adam was less than thrilled with our prank, but Eric found it quite humorous, so I felt like all in all everything balanced out nicely.

Hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I loved retelling it! I appreciate you all because you all are the best! See you all next week!