Ridin’

On the second Thursday of my good, but certainly not great trip back to California, I spent a whopping EIGHT AND A HALF HOURS in the car! It was a dastardly combination of heavy rains – which, to be fair, even in a light rain no one in California knows how to drive – and Los Angeles traffic that caused me to spend what is essentially one’s workday in the auto. I promised myself at the conclusion of that day I was going to greatly limit my driving once I returned home from vacation. Little did I know just how easy keeping that promise was going to be.

To put things in perspective, I filled my Dodge Avenger’s gas tank up on Wednesday, March 18 and now here we are on Tuesday, April 7 and I STILL have nearly half left! Normally, I get gas every ten to twelve days (which I know is not often), so the fact we’re now at twenty and I have about half left is wonderful to me. Obviously this is made possible by the unfortunate state of the world around us, so while I long for a return to normalcy, spending vastly less money during this time is a brightly shining silver-lining to what is otherwise constant storm clouds overhead.

Anyway, let’s get to the real story here…

Back when Melissa and I both worked at Target, we would conclude nearly all of our closing shifts by heading to North America’s hottest invitation-only club, Club Aurora. Always a pair of VIPs, we literally had front row seating to some of the hottest bands there ever was. We lived for our Club Aurora nights and the one I’m going to highlight here remains a personal favorite.

As we walked across the parking lot and up to the front doors of Club Aurora still proudly wearing our Target red and khaki, we bid our fellow Team Members farewell and climbed inside Melissa’s limited-edition pearl white Oldsmobile Aurora. This night, like all those before it, I would put a CD in the player before even fastening my seatbelt because like I said, we had front row seats to some of the hottest acts there ever was and as Club Aurora’s resident DJ, I wasn’t about to disappoint my audience (i.e.: Melissa).

As we pulled off the lot in search of food like we did essentially every other time, we decided to hit up the newly opened Sonic just down the road. Now normally we would do what we called a “U-Turn” and grab food from TacoBell and then u-turn into McDonald’s to get drinks, but tonight Sonic would be covering us for both.

After getting our eats and drinks, we knew we would finish the night out by doing what we always did: driving around aimlessly in one given area or another and always driving past the houses of the people we knew who lived in whichever area. So while tonight had started off like all those before it, change was on the horizon.

As Melissa drove out of the Sonic parking lot, I switched from CD to radio and as luck would have it, our favorite radio show was on, Delilah. We caught the tailend of what was inevitably a lovely story from a caller to Delilah and then like she always does, Delilah played a song that tied perfectly to this caller’s situation. Luckily for us, that song just happened to be one of my favorite songs ever! Whitney Houston’s, I Wanna Dance With Somebody! (To see where this jam ranked on my all-time list, see my past blog: Soul Brother Top 25!)

Suffice it to say, we were pumped! We both loved this song and were so happy that Delilah, the greatest radio DJ of all time chose it for her caller. If you’re unfamiliar with Delilah then I feel truly sorry for you. She still has a show, but it is harder to come by now, but I believe she’s accessible from iHeart Radio. People would call into her show and tell her their stories, some good and happy, others sad and bad and she would always pick the most perfect song for them. Melissa and I have spent THOUSANDS of hours in the past listening, laughing, crying, and singing-along with Delilah. There was nothing we loved more than slowing down and loving someone with Delilah, but I digress…

As we drove down Center Grove Road in Edwardsville, we started to crest the bridge over the former railroad tracks now bike trails, when a pair of police lights illuminated vibrantly behind us. Those cherries were spinning for us, so Melissa did what any normal person would do, she pulled over.

I turned the music down some as the officer approached Melissa’s now rolled down window. He began the conversation asking for the normal stuff like her license and registration, which Melissa handed over and he glanced at with the light from his flashlight before looking up at Melissa.

“Why are you squinting?” He asked her as she responded promptly with, “because you’re shining your light in my eyes.”

“Oh right, sorry,” he said as he lowered his flashlight down. “Do you have any idea why I pulled you over?”

“No,” Melissa answered cluelessly because up to this point neither of us had so much as a clue. Melissa never sped and there were no stop signs for her to run through, so we honestly didn’t have any idea.

“I’ve been following you since about 157 and you’ve been swerving all over the road,” he began before asking with a sly grin, “just what were you two doing in here?”

“Listening to Whitney Houston and eating breakfast burritos,” I instantly interjected as I rose my burrito with one hand and turned the radio up with the other. The police officer laughed out loud and shook his head. It was obvious this wasn’t the answer he was expecting.

“Okay well, I’m going to let you two go with a warning, but just be mindful of how you’re driving,” he said as he bid us farewell.

After we pulled off and left the officer behind us, we drove around aimlessly like we had planned and then returned Club Aurora to the Target parking lot where my parent’s minivan awaited me. My Dodge Neon was in the shop for repairs, so I was rollin’ in the Plymouth Voyager.

I got in that much-larger-than-my-Neon-minivan and drove out the Target parking lot and up to the stoplight between the Home Depot and QuikTrip and waited there in the left turn lane for the appropriate light. The light had just turned red, so I had plenty of time to roll down my windows, max out the volume, treble, and bass, lower my seat back and do my absolute best to try and look as crunk as I could while Chamillionaire and Krayzie Bone’s iconic hit, Ridin’ blasted out the van all in anticipation of Melissa in Club Aurora pulling up next to me.

As I sat there leaning way back with my left hand on the wheel and bouncing my flattened right hand up and down to the bass of Ridin’, I looked over to my right and expected to see Melissa laughing next to me only that is not at all what I saw.

Instead there was a dark haired girl about my age looking absolutely mortified back at me. She wasted no time in rolling her windows up and abruptly turning to look straight ahead. I instantly exploded in laughter. The situation was so damn funny that I couldn’t even begin to feel embarrassed.

Instead, I was so ashamed at myself for mistaking this clearly solid white car for Club Aurora’s pearl white! Up close they looked nothing alike, but I guess I was so excited to show off my crunk skills to Melissa that I overlooked this somewhat necessary detail. Fortunately, I got the green arrow and this poor girl the green light and we both drove off in our desired directions, but damn, I could not quit laughing for the rest of my ten minute drive home. Naturally, as soon as I got home, I called Melissa and we both laughed our asses off at my moment of mistake. Oh, what a night to remember!

As always, THANK YOU all for reading and your continued support means the world to me! Please feel free to leave me a comment below! With this abundance of time on my hands there is nothing I love more than reading and responding to them! Hope you all are well during these uncertain times! I’ll be back next week with another timely tale, so until then, have THE BEST week ever!