This One Goes Out To The Ones I Love…

I’ve been very fortunate in that prior to now, I haven’t experienced a period of immense sadness in some three and a half years. The last time I felt sickeningly sad was June 2017 when I moved back to St. Louis from Southern California. Despite the fact that that move was exactly what I wanted, it didn’t feel any easier leaving behind all those that I had grown to love so dearly. I easily cried over three dozen times that week – including my record-setting eight hour cry on June 14! Trust me, you don’t cry for an entire third of a day and not remember the exact date!

Well, I’ve entered another period of sadness this week due to another departure, only this one has had the misfortune of becoming two-fold. The first is another self-imposed exit. I’m leaving behind my position with The Men’s Wearhouse, a work environment that’s been a second home to me for the past two and a half years, for a healthier paying position with T. J. Maxx. The second I’m still coming to terms with.

I just used the phrase and we hear it all the time, such and such place was a like a second home to me. Sure, there’s a great chance that we love a handful of things about the structure itself that we’ve come to designate as our second (or even our first) home, but more often than not, what we’re truly saying when we make this statement isn’t so much as a reference to the structural support of this home, but the emotional one.

Buildings don’t have emotions, people do. Which is why I believe that when we use these statements – even if we don’t necessarily realize it on the surface – we feel at home because of the people who make up that home, not because of the building itself. For me, my home lies within my heart.

I’ve been very blessed in that I’ve had many second homes throughout my life. In nearly every job I’ve had there’s been hoards of people who’ve helped make the time working there bigger and better than anything it could’ve been otherwise. The best example of this for me is the fact that each and every single time I go back out to California, I get together with my old team from Macy’s Mission Viejo. These phenomenal souls and I spent a mere ten months working together, but the impact we’ve had on one another’s lives has extended long past March of 2015 when I transferred to another store. No doubt about it, that’s home.

In an environment as intimate as The Men’s Wearhouse, if you don’t love your peers, you’re not going to love your job. At no time did we ever have more than ten total people working at our store. Needless to say, this is infinitely smaller than any of the sometimes 100+ individuals I’d be working alongside at either Macy’s or Target. Given that I was with The Men’s Wearhouse for going on three years, it’s very safe to say that I LOVED these people. Walking in that store everyday and seeing their faces felt like home to me.

Mikey, Omar, Ethan, Reese, Romell, and Samantha may all have left our quaint little home before me, but they all left an indelible impact on my heart. I had cute little stories written up about each one of them, but unfortunately, life changed the circumstances for this blog. Just know that each one of these six people – in one way or another – made working there such an incredible experience and I’ll always remember the time I spent with each of them. The same goes for Mohammad and Sophie, a pair of new hires, who I didn’t have the privilege of working long enough with.

There are three individuals though that do get their own shared stories. I spent as many hours with the three of them over these past two and a half years as I did my wife. They, more so than anyone else, were my second home.

Dylan, or should I say my Soul Brother, who I graced with a dedication blog of his own, Soul Brother Top 25, a countdown of my favorite songs of all time, worked first with me at Dillard’s. Dylan was one of the VERY few highlights in what was an otherwise truly awful six months at Dillard’s. Dylan joined me at The Men’s Wearhouse in October of 2018, so when combined with the time we spent together before, he and I have worked together just as long as me, Lydia, and Lana have. He’s only 24 and while I’m a mere five years older than him, you would definitely think he was the older Soul Brother. His quick wit, sharp tongue, and often dry personality are always good for a much needed laugh. Dylan constructed a recording studio in his house, which I know he can’t wait to have me over to get in there and cut a record in – after all – Dylan has the privilege of hearing me sing more often than anyone else. He’s never once asked me to sing to him, but at the same time, he’s never once asked me to stop singing either, so that definitely counts for something. It’s pretty clear he knows world-class vocals when he hears them, after all, I’m pretty sure by now he loves Céline and Britney almost as much as I do. I always tease (or perhaps threaten, depending on one’s point of view) Dylan that now that we’ve worked together at two jobs, we’re going to work together at all of them. So Dylan, as soon as I can get a position for you with me at T. J. Maxx, you’re comin’ over my Soul Brother! Plus, to be fair, he’s been a self-proclaimed Maxxinista long before I’m about to be. He’ll never admit it, but I know he loves me, but rest assured, I definitely love him.

I have been unbelievably blessed by some phenomenal bosses throughout my lifetime, but let me tell you all what, Lydia’s been THE BEST! Her sense of humor is off-the-charts and makes her easily one of the funniest people I’ve ever known! I cannot recall there ever having been a single day where we didn’t get a large laugh (or ten) out of one thing or another. She always finds the best memes and videos that truly never disappoint and are usually painstakingly relevant. Aside from her top notch sense of humor, she’s also one of the most hard-working and caring individuals I’ve ever worked for. She’s got a lot going on in her personal life, but despite that, she always manages to put the needs of her team before her own – luckily for her though – Dylan and I don’t have nearly as many needs as she does, BUT IF WE DID, she would undoubtedly take care of us first. I’ve always appreciated and admired that about her and I think it speaks volumes to the incredible leader that she is. One of the things I’ll miss most about Lydia though is sharing our stories with one another. I pride myself on being an excellent storyteller and let me tell you all what, Lydia definitely gives me a run for my money. If she didn’t have three careers, an equal number of grandsons, and all else going on, she could definitely write one hell of an entertaining blog! The day I got hired at The Men’s Wearhouse was the same day Lydia got placed over our store, so I’ve never known any aspect of this career without her. I’m beyond thankful for the development, nurturement, and wisdom she’s instilled upon me during our time together and while we’ll soon no longer be coworkers, I have no doubt that we’ll forever be friends.

It absolutely breaks my heart typing this out, but the sad reality is, our Tailor, Lana, has passed away from COVID-19. Lana had worked for The Men’s Wearhouse for just over three years, so she was the resident Tailor for my entire time there. She moved to the United States seven years ago when she was fifty to start a brand new life in our country. Prior to coming to America, she spoke zero English, which is impressive given how well she spoke it now. She didn’t think so, but she truly did speak it well. She would always have these cute little flashcards she’d make for her various vocabulary words and she’d show them to me and together we’d discuss what the words meant. She’d always translate my blogs to Russian and read them and then we’d discuss my various stories together. It meant the absolute world to me that she was interested enough in what I was writing to translate the story so she could better understand. Lana LOVED going to the movies and I’d always share with her the movies I’d seen and whether or not I’d recommend them for her. She hated horror movies because she didn’t like to be scared, but she loved – and I mean LOVED – her Disney movies, which we all know I can appreciate. Her favorite movies were Mary Poppins Returns and the live-action remake of Aladdin. Lana always said she loved Disney movies best because they made her feel safe and they were the easiest English-language films for her to understand. I even got her hooked on The Golden Girls for a long while there, I’d go to the back to grab a customer’s alterations right quick and could hear Lana’s sweet laughter and then I’d hear Dorothy taking a jab at Rose or Blanche going on and on about something and I’d always smile. The last handful of weeks we worked together Lana had a different set of flashcards for us to go over. She was studying to take her United States citizenship test. I’ll never forget the very first day she got those cards out. She had clearly written them some time ago because several of her answers were outdated. My favorite example being how she tried to argue me that Paul Ryan was the Speaker of the House when THANKFULLY it’s now Nancy Pelosi. We both got a good chuckle at some of those, but together we helped ensure that she had the correct answers for her studying. I spent a lot of time in the back of the store with Lana just talking aimlessly or going over her flashcards – all this was to poor Dylan’s detriment – by default he was left to man the store on his own, but thankfully my Soul Brother’s one of the most capable and he never complained about me and Lana’s long-winded hangouts. I’m twice as thankful to him for this now. Lana leaves behind a daughter, who she absolutely adored with every beat of her heart and would have sacrificed anything in the world for; her daughter’s boyfriend, who she loved so much and would call her “baby;” a cute little cat named, Sweetie; and her precious dog that she loved to the moon and back, Tobey; as well as an entire store’s worth of people who she took care of and looked after like we were all her children. She would ALWAYS bring us little treats and candies and invite us to have seconds, thirds, and fourths. She made coffee each morning, “Benjamin, coffee ready, okay?” Lana was scared of a lot of things like driving in St. Louis, interstate driving, fast driving, okay, so maybe just driving in general, but that doesn’t at all change the fact that she was also one of the bravest people I’ve ever known. I mean honestly, think of it, at the age of fifty she left behind the only home she’d ever known and moved across the globe with her daughter to completely start anew. I cannot ever fathom having that kind of bravery. Although my heart absolutely breaks and I cannot write this without tears streaming down my face, I know that each one of us at The Men’s Wearhouse can feel good about the fact that we made Lana’s new home so much better for her and there is absolutely no doubt about it, she most definitely made our store feel like home for each of us. I love you Lana and will never, ever forget your kindness, generosity, and loving nature. You were a beautiful soul inside and out and every single one of us is better for having had the opportunity to create a home with you. Thank you for being a friend.