Thank You For Being A Friend!

After an already unbelievable year, 2023 ended in the worst possible way for me and Melissa. We were told in those final days of December that she was sick, so sick that we’re talking cancer type of sick. After several doctors and hospitals visits later, she had surgery set for January 26 where they would be removing the cysts they had found and exploring extensively for the origin of this cancer. Well, the surgery was a success in its own way and by the grace of God, it turned out she doesn’t in fact have cancer.

Melissa has an extraordinarily rare inflammatory process that mimics cancer in scans and lab tests. This process is so rare that there are only case studies at this time, which also means there are likely zero concrete treatment plans. She’s since been referred to an infectious disease doctor in hopes that we can learn what’s causing all this and then with that knowledge, discover where we can go from there.

This outcome is obviously infinitely better than the one we originally feared. After all, at one point we believed her cancer was in stage four and she had up to a year left to live. That was the darkest moment of many dark moments. It goes without saying that the eight weeks which encompassed this emotionally charged journey were some of the most difficult of our lives. The one and only aspect where I was able to find any shred of positivity came from the incredible showing of love and support from all of our family and friends.

So, this blog is for all of you and in no particular order, I would like to thank the following:

Jamie, for constantly checking in on me and for always providing the most encouraging words of wisdom and just being a shoulder to cry on and an ear to hear me. To you and Alan both for being there with me that first night following the surgery and feeding me that delicious Ravenelli’s dinner. You constantly kept my spirits lifted and helped ensure I was able to weather this storm, thank you.

Katie, for also checking in on me often throughout the course of each day. You, Jon, and Pryncess really are the best. Your Snap videos of her just being herself and of Jon and Peanut brought so many needed smiles to my face and helped normalize the temporarily abnormal world around me. I truly didn’t realize how important subtleties like that are till my world was filled with doom and gloom, so thank you.

Amanda, again, for checking in on me all day, everyday. Our frequent morning talks still found so many ways to be filled with laughter and smiles – albeit much of it was at the expense of that turbulence you were facing at work, but still, it’s so reassuring to know that I can always count on you when I ask, “will you please help me.”

Edward, your daily messages of encouragement were something to truly look forward to as they never failed to bring a smile to my face. The gifts you sent Melissa were so heartfelt, considerate, and unexpected, she loved them so very much, so really and truly, thank you for everything. Your positivity knows no bounds!

California Melissa, our late night phone calls always bring so much clarity after a long-winded day and I’m so appreciative of them. The gifts you sent to Melissa were also incredibly heartfelt, considerate, and unexpected, and obviously she loved them too, so thank you. Thank you also to Zach and Jade and all the prayers the three of you helped bring to us, I believe they truly delivered!

Martha and Anthony, thank you both for being wonderful neighbors. Melissa and I are so blessed to have such caring people right next door. Martha, our often surprise conversations always bring a smile to my face and did so much good in helping me get my mind off the usual, those moments were truly invaluable, so thank you. Anthony, thank you for being you, for you buddy are simply the best.

Jody, Tyler, Sweet Cody, Alex, and Abbey, thank you so much for all the outreach of support and encouragement from each and everyone of you. Half of this was pretty unexpected, but meant the world to me! Jody, you’ve done an amazing job raising four outstanding individuals and I’m so thankful that as we near the beginning of the third decade of our friendship, we’re all as close now as we’ve ever been!

Ashley, thank you (and Marcus) for coming up to the hospital the day of the surgery. It was an unbelievable afternoon that was made so much better by your friendship. Even through all the heartache and pain we were all experiencing that day you were able to make us all laugh and love and that was truly so appreciated then as always.

Charles, thank you for messaging from afar, whether it was serious and topical in nature or a cute little video of some crazy dog, the outreach was always appreciated. It’s nice knowing we’ll always be able to count on one another’s support and friendship.

Samantha, your generosity with that gift was most unexpected! I was so pleased and tickled by that kind gesture that I definitely cried! Thank you for it and for always reaching out to see how Melissa and I were, it meant so much to me during those weeks!

Cathy, the flowers you gave Melissa those couple days before her surgery were so beautiful and brightened up the entire house for each and every day since as we still have them! Incredible! Thank you so much for checking in and helping to distract me so often, even if it was with some of your own incredibly unfortunate woes, but any distraction was valued during this time, so thank you.

Tom and Leslie, thank you for reaching out and for the powerful words about family. It’s truly a blessing learning I have another uncle and aunt after all this time and I’m so grateful for the support and encouragement you sent my way when it was needed most.

April, thank you for helping our Barnes experience be so much better and more clear than it could’ve ever of been. You meeting up with us at that Applebee’s after the eternal day you worked really meant the world and I cannot thank you enough! It brought a peace of mind that we were all definitely in need of, so really and truly, thank you.

Carol, thank you for mailing that card of encouragement and well wishes. I know it meant so much to Melissa. You have such a big heart and we’re both so lucky to still know you after all these years!

Nicole, thank you – and ALL your family – for checking in on me as often as you all did! Thank goodness y’all some Maxxinista’s! Those visits always livened my day! Your check-up texts were so appreciated too especially given the fact you were on the cusp of greatness in your own life at the time, so really and truly, thank you!

Cody and Lexie, thank you both so much for reaching out to me as often as you two did! I was always glad to be responding to one of your messages and your kindness meant the world, so thank you.

Kristen, thank you for checking in like you did and also thank you for your jokes even if I wasn’t always in the right frame of mind to comprehend them! A lot of humor was lost on me those couple of weeks, so I appreciate you keeping me on my toes! Also, I love that we both love Legos from afar! That too has been nice and helpful.

Abbi, thank you for reaching out to me as often as you did. I always valued hearing from you and each new message would succeed in bringing a smile to my face. You just always say the best stuff.

Ruth, it felt so wonderful corresponding with the person who means so much to Melissa in this world. I cannot thank you enough for your tender words and caring remarks. You always knew what we should be looking for and the right things to say, so really and truly, thank you.

Lydia, I’ll never forget again, “P.R.A.Y.” That phone conversation brought me so much warmth and optimism, I’ll never forget it. Thank you for igniting your prayer warriors and helping us face this thing with the Lord on our side. I’m so certain that your efforts, combined with those of so many others listed here, are why we reached the blessed outcome we did, so thank you beyond anything.

Megan, thank you for reaching out like you did. Even the Valentine’s Day card you sent went a long way in lifting the spirits around this household, so really and truly, thank you so much.

Uncle Joe, thank you for always being in constant contact with me and for often just listening as I shared whatever was next. I also appreciate you keeping Debbie, Alyssa, and Cole informed as well.

Jenna and Michael, thank you both so much for individually reaching out like you did on all the occasions you did, I very much appreciated you both during this difficult time. Being asked to be one of your groomsmen in your upcoming wedding did wonders to lift my spirit and shift my frame of mind. I look forward to celebrating the two of you on your wedding day just as you both were there to celebrate me and Melissa before.

Eli, and your mom, Pam, wow. Honestly, it was such a phenomenal surprise to hear those messages of support and encouragement from you, Pam. I’m so grateful. Your shared experiences made this whole ordeal seem a little less lonely, so sincerely thank you. Eli, you already know I love you and am so thankful for the time we’ve shared together at TJ’s. You’re simply the best.

The Garden Gate Tea Room Girls (Brenda, Tammy, Angie), thank you all for your sincere check-ins on me and offerings of support. You three are the best! I’m so thankful to have made so many special friends here in town just by dining out frequently! I’ll never forget your kindness during this difficult time!

Christian, thank you for being the right friend at the right time. I honestly don’t know what kind of mindset I would’ve been in throughout all this if I didn’t have those regular moments of face to face friendship alongside you. I cannot thank you enough for just being one of the world’s best listeners. You helped keep me emotionally grounded, so again, thank you. You too my friend are simply the best!

Jessica, thank you for checking in on me like you did and for all the snaps of your new little princess. They always put a smile on my face and made any one of these dreary days less so. Even moments you didn’t realize happened about you made me chuckle and smile like stumbling upon that photo of you in that red dress from the Macy’s fashion show. It gave me so much joy in that moment and made me so thankful for our friendship.

Florida Nancy, your calls and texts meant everything. They always succeeded in putting a smile on my face and your perspective always gave me new ways to think about any of the situations before me and for all that I cannot thank you enough. Thank you for being you.

Darlene (and Chris, Melissa, and Justin), thank you all for your never-ending words of encouragement and personal stories that helped make this trauma seem so much more relatable on essentially every level. Melissa and I are so blessed to still have you all in our lives after more than twenty-five years. All your words of wisdom and encouragement truly helped ease the stress from it all, so thank you.

Aunt Cindy (and Uncle Drew, Katelyn, and Ian) thank you for checking in on me as often as you did and for all the incredible words of encouragement and inspiration. I really appreciate it so much as it always served to lift my spirits and make this all seem more manageable and less lonely.

Cornti (your Joe, Uncle Joe, Mary, Aunt Ann, and Dylan) thank you for reaching out like you did and for the regular check-ins. It meant so much and definitely helped me through this excruciating process.

Aunt Debbie, Alyssa (and Cody), thank you all for constantly checking in on me whether it was through text or Snapchat it was always appreciated. Knowing we have incredible family members all over the country pulling for us really helps us recognize “it’s a small world after all.” (insert wink face here!)

Milena, thank you for sharing your incredible perspective on it all based off your invaluable knowledge as a healthcare professional. Your optimism and perspective really gave me a positivity boost that I was in dire need of, so thank you so much.

Marnie (and Jeff, Austin, and Mason), thank you all for your outpour of support and reaching out like you did. We really are blessed to have such incredible family all around us and you four define the very meaning of incredible, so really and truly, thank you.

Sami, I cannot thank you enough for all the prayers you helped generate for us. It means the world to me that you would inspire your church family to pray for us like you did, so really and truly, thank you. Also, thank you for listening to me and for checking in on me as often as you did, it meant the world.

Sepideh, thank you for some of the most poetically beautiful words of wisdom and encouragement. I always value your perspective and am so thankful to hear and read it. Really and truly, thank you.

Lindsey (and Broderick), thank you to my oldest friend – in years, not age – over thirty now for being here today through all this as we have been there for one another through everything. I cannot thank you enough for your unique perspective and constant friendship.

Bridget, RaTesha, Brenda, and Shelby, thank you four for enduring so much of my emotions. This has been the most awful chapter of my life, but having the four of you alongside me for this horrendous journey to hear the next development as often as you all did most definitely helped ease this process along and I’ll forever be grateful to each one of you for your friendship and support.

Kasey, thank you for always checking in on me and those adorable snaps of Paco and Tiny. Those two furbabies always brighten my day and during that seemingly never-ending reign of darkness I was looking for all the brightness I could get and you never failed to provide, so thank you.

Meagan, thank you for being one of the best Snapchatters I know. It’s always wonderful to know I can count on a next-to-immediate response when looking for one. You don’t know how valuable this is to me. Additionally, your words of encouragement and support meant so much, so really and truly, thank you.

Thank you to everyone at TJ’s for the outpouring of support and for always inquiring with me how I was. It meant so much knowing that I had so many people there to support me day in and day out, so thank you all. Especially thankful to anyone who was taking the time to pray, that means so much and I thank you immensely.

Jeanine (and Darwin), thank you for being so positive and for checking in on me like you did. I value you both so much and you always bring such a genuine smile to my face with your incredible outpouring of love and support, so really and truly, thank you.

Erin, thank you for checking in and for always inviting me to go and do things knowing good and well I love to live life fully and was in dire need of a pick-me-up, so really and truly, thank you. Keep my mind occupied on fun-filled moments was instrumental to making it through all this.

Danielle, Mark, Garrett, Gabby, Logan, and Izzy, thank all six of you for everything. Being there over FaceTime that initial conversation was difficult, but I felt so supported and like we were all in the same room together, which helped me tremendously. An especially big THANK YOU to Danielle and Logan who continuously checked in on me and always provided so much support and love throughout this whole ordeal. It really reminded me that we truly all are family even if we don’t share the same blood.

Dad and Mom DeShon, thank you both for showing up at the hospital during that most horrible day of stress and sadness. Being there meant everything. Additionally, thank you for always checking in on us and for continuing to be so supportive and loving throughout this traumatic experience. Melissa and I are blessed to have such incredible parents.

Dad and Mom Crouch, thank you both for everything, literally every single thing. You were there for Melissa (and I) every single step of this pathway of terror and never once let us fall or falter. Your strength, love, wisdom, and support made all the difference, so really and truly, thank you.

Nancy, thank you for taking the day to be there for the surgery and always being the best friend anyone could ever ask for. Neither Melissa nor myself could even begin to fathom our lives without you. Like Mariah sings, “we can’t live if living is without you” because like Tina sings, “you’re simply the best!”

Kamber, it was so unexpectedly wonderful to have you fly in for the surgery and show the level of support and insight you did. We couldn’t have imagined that weekend without you, especially me. Thank you for always being a leader and keeping this friend group headed in the right direction, always. You too are simply the best.

Hockley, oh sweet baby, I’ll read this to you after publication, but your never-ending snuggles made your daddy and mommy feel so loved. All those times I would be crying you just knew what to do and we’re so lucky to have such a loving kitty in our lives.

Now do keep in mind that this is told entirely from my perspective and experience. I’m sure Melissa would have an abundance of other individuals she wishes to thank in her own right. I’m also sure I may have failed to mention someone above, but THANK YOU to you too! I knew I had a ton of wonderful friends and family, but didn’t realize just how incredible my circle was until this traumatic and terrible turn of events provided me with daily reminders. Really and truly, to each and every single one of you, THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND! I really am blessed by the best!

As always, THANK YOU for reading! Your support towards my literary endeavors means the world! Please feel free to leave a comment below as I love reading and responding to them! I’ll be back next week with a considerably less heavy post, so until then, I wish you all, all the best!